


Slow Your Roll

by live_from_new_york



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, I feel like there should be, is there a ship name for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 06:53:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7608121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/live_from_new_york/pseuds/live_from_new_york
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What do you regret most Holtzy?"<br/>"Nothing. Everything. I regret having that fifth empanada tonight."</p>
<p>Patty tries her best to have a "serious" conversation, and Holtzmann can't help but make things a little bit more difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slow Your Roll

**Author's Note:**

> My first Patty/Holtzmann fic. This was surprisingly easy to write in comparison to my other fics. (It's shorter too.)
> 
> A special shout out to tumblr users cjholtzmilton and bennethaze for looking this over, and helping me rework it.

"Alright- I told you mine. What are _you_ afraid of?"

Patty, despite her excellently fabricated facade, was not nearly as fearless as she seemed. She didn't hesitate to tell Jillian: no, she was not going to be the one killing a spider, and that despite a serious intervention (apocalyspse), she doesn't ever go a day without writing in her journal- due to a unique fear all her own, of 50 First Dates-ing her entire life away. 

And Holtzmann, despite her tendencies to search out danger, hadn't lied to Patty and told her she wasn't scared of things too. She was. God, she'd never liked heights anyways. Now she could hardly look out the window without feeling like she was falling and flying and dying- all at the same time. 

And these are the type of things they're learning about each other late one night, as they lay out on a dark green blanket on a balcony off the second floor of the firehouse. (It had taken quite a bit of coaxing to get Jillian out- but Patty's glad she did.) The wine she had had with dinner buzzing pleasantly in her mind, and Holtzmann's curls drifting in the brisk air, and the stars, and... Patty was almost certain the night was perfect. 

"I can't help but think that I could've- could've prevented it, you know?" Holtzmann whispers, puffing her cheeks out and squeezing her eyes shut, "God- a sandwich? I got thrown... out of a window, for a sandwich, one that- that I didn't even get to eat! If we'd been there, we could've helped Abby and-" Patty rolls over at this point, laying on her side, her head propped up on her hand, and she looks at Holtzmann carefully.

"Holtzy, you are the person who is the _least_ at fault here. You know that right? My uncle's dog is more to blame than you are, you didn't ask to be thrown out of a window. Not the last time I checked anyways."

Holtzmann scrunched up her eyes again, then pushed her glasses off of her face. She blinked at the sky, and thought for a moment, "No, I don't remember asking for that. I suppose you're right. As usual, Tolan."

"You better remember that, Patty's _always_ right." Patty chuckled to herself and then rolled back onto her back. "Your turn though, I asked my question." The game was simple, Patty worked to get to know Holtzmann better, while Holtzmann used a similar tactic to figure out how to best push Patty's buttons. (What could she say? She liked a good hobby.)

"How many times can you listen to a song before you get sick of it?" Holtzmann's foot began to tap on the concrete beneath her. "My record's a solid consecutive 74. On a good day." She gave a quick nod upward, and a smug grin, ever the show-off.

"Damn. I can't listen to anything more than a few times, but 74? I swear to God, I would _cut_ someone. What song was it?"

"Wild Cherry's hit 1974 classic  _Play That Funky Music."_ She announced, her voice mocking that of an emcee, low and formal. "What can I say? I like my style." She rolled over quickly, running into Patty for a moment before rolling back and kicking her legs high up into the air.

"Me too, baby girl," Patty says, a loud laugh coming up from the back of her throat. "Me too."

She's quiet for a moment before the wine goes to her head again, and she feels like she's seen this moment before, and she's hearing a soundtrack, and her life isn't a movie- but in this moment it might as well be. 

"What do you regret most, Holtzy?" 

Holtzmann lets out a heavy sigh, and rolls her neck to get out the kinks. "Nothing. Everything. I don't know. I regret having that fifth empanada tonight." She blows out a heavy breath, "I regret not tying my shoelaces on March 19th last year."

"That's... specific. What exactly did you do?" There was fondness hidden beneath the exasperated tone of Patty's question, and Holtzmann couldn't decide how to answer. 

"There was an incident with some sodium." Patty's eyebrow raised quickly, "Eh- A lot of sodium. Pure sodium, and a lot of it, and quite a bit of water that I wouldn't have spilled if I'd tied my shoes."

"I'm starting to get the picture." 

"Took a while for Abby to get over that one. And for the building super to let me back in. I try not to focus too much on regrets though, one might say it harshes my mellow."

"No one- no one would say that, Holtzy. That phrased died before you were born prob'ly."

"It's coming back to haunt me then."

"I think I regret not spending more time with my older sister." Patty smiled, or maybe grimaced, a little of both. Holtzmann thought about her family. 

"I regret... I regret not knowing how great my parents really were." Holtzmann said. "I can't think of anyone else whose parents would willingly get them some of the things they got me. _'My First Soldering Iron_ ' wasn't exactly the hit toy of the '80's.'"

"I wonder why?" mirthful, and light, Holtzmann listens to the sound of Patty's voice and hears her smile. 

"Beats me." 

They stay like that for a long moment. 

Holtzmann's breathing quickens, and she feels a warm hand reach over to hers. "You all right, baby girl? Something wrong?"

"I have other regrets."

"I mean, we all do Holtzy. Don't worry too much about it tonight, there's nothing we can do at this hour."

Holtzmann throws her legs up in the air, and her arms grab at the back of her knees. This never happened if she never mentioned it. Right? I can't see you- You can't see me. Don't Ask- Don't Tell. 

She throws her legs back down and rolls away from Patty for a moment, before returning to lay in shavasana on the warm blanket. They don't look at each other, and she's okay with that. 

"I regret- telling Abby... about Rowan. About... how bad it was." Her words come out slowly, like she's chewing with her mouth full and waiting to swallow, like she's having to form each word by hand before she can say them. 

"I don't regret what I did, you know that, but if I could change the past. Damn- I'd make it so I'd never had to do that. My shoulder went through hell and back that day." Her laugh was hollow, and echoed easily into Holtzmann's mind. "I guess you did too, huh?"

"I regret... I regret not kissing you that day."

Party's ears rang- was she hearing things? Hallucinating? She felt like her whole body was buzzing and her mouth was moving without her brain and- "Why didn't you?"

"Couldn't reach your face."

Holtzmann shrugs and says this as though it's the world's most normal answer, and Patty swears she can see cartoon hearts forming in the air around the smaller woman. How do you respond to that? When she says it so easily, but Patty still feels like she's electric? 

"You might be the only height I'm not afraid of." Holtzmann chuckles.

Patty sits up, leaning back on her palms. 

"What about now? I'm not standing anymore... and the nights not getting any younger." Her voice is gentle and Holtzmann moves her glasses down from her hair onto her eyes.

"That phrase is cliche, Tolan." 

"Well, excuse me for getting a little mushy on you-"

"Forgiven. Forgotten. Don't worry about it." Holtzmann winks at her, and Patty can't help but be a little frustrated. This was serious. Right? She's trying to be serious, and Holtzmann's cracking jokes and avoiding the topic and... And damn it, all Patty can think about now is Holtzmann, and Holtzmann's lips and now, her tongue that's sticking out to mock her (apparently visible) frustration.

"Holtz- babe- I'm being serious."

"I am too, I forgive you for getting all mushy on me. Like a banana, Tolan, yuck. You know I don't eat bananas."

"Is that a euphemism for something?"

"I mean- well it's not _not_ a euphemism."

"Alright... If you say so." Patty's mouth twisted to one side, then into a frown. This was obviously going nowhere. She'd filled Holtzmann's 'serious conversation' quota apparently. Her heart drops a little and she lazily sits up, legs long and stretching further, "I think I'll head in tonight. It'll probably be a long day tomorrow." 

This is what finally seems to resonate with Holtzmann who turns an intrigued (and disappointed?) eye to the taller woman. "Gone so soon? Did I frighten you?" Her voice wavers at the end, as if she's a child on Halloween pretending to be a ghost.

"Nah, I- I just think it's time to turn in for the night. I gotta lot on my mind."

"Can I just get something off my chest real fast? While we're having our pristine 'movie moment'?" Holtzmann's voice sounds almost accusatory, and exasperated, and like she's daring Patty to leave. To give up on her.

Patty is infinitely kind and caring, but not self-sacrificing. Raising an eyebrow she offers, "Do what you gotta do."

Patty has a good number of regrets- but right now, she regrets blinking, because before she can register what's happened, Holtzmann has swung her leg over Patty. Perched like a predator on all fours, damn it, she blinked and she missed it.

"I just gotta say- just gotta, put this out there, that it has been _far_ too distracting trying to work with you next to me every day."

"Uh- I can move...? If you want?"

"You know I'd still be able to see your earrings from across the firehouse- wait, this isn't what I was trying to say. Stop distracting me." Holtzmann purses her lips and squints her eyes, "You're like an ionization discharge honestly, once I know you're there, it's the only thing I can notice. Abby says I have a sensitive snoot. And heart. Mostly my heart- that's why I'm telling you this." 

Patty blinked up at Holtzmann. Where could this possibly be going? Is this Holtzmann's way of telling her not to wear earrings? That wasn't gonna happen. 

"Anyways- I've been thinking. I'm going to kiss you tonight."

"Wha- when? Right now?" Patty blinked owlishly up at Holtzmann, honestly, was this really happening? Was this her real life? 

"I'm flexible." Holtzmann shrugged her shoulders before patting the taller woman's cheek with her gloved hand, "and like you said. The night is still young." She jumped up quickly, landing on both feet with a bounce and putting her hands in her pockets. "See you inside?" And with a wink, she was gone back into the firehouse.

 "That girl's gonna be the death of me." Patty said, with a bemused smile, taking a second before following Holtzmann inside, "But damn, if I ain't gonna go out swingin'."


End file.
